To Love

I've been reading too many sad love stories lately though i did not intend to. Got duped by the back story of the novel i am currently perusing LOL. Normally i would gravitate towards sci-fi, horror, suspense, mystery, or fantasy tales. Of course, it is given that novels would always have back stories; however, i did not expect this novel to have one that discusses unrequited love in-depth. Inevitably, reading about it brings back all the painful memories of the past i thought i have long buried. Well, luckily, it is just a dull pain now, not as acute as it had been when i was still in that situation, which took place many years back. Funny how the pain lingers long after the feelings have ebbed, or should i say died down. Oh, well, i just had to write about it when i reached the part of the novel that struck a sensitive nerve LOL. Okay, here is the product of my renewed effort to regain my poetry writing skill. Read on and relish the hurt of the past. 

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To Love

Do you love?
With every word, with every breath
With every smile, with every glance
A most elusive fancy treasured dearly
Played out in a lifetime of dreams
Though I hold my heart out to you
Your eyes wander elsewhere, everywhere
Anywhere and nowhere, but to me
Never ever landing, never ever seeing
Never ever noticing these tears that flow
Slowly cascading, a trail of mind-shattering pain
Blazing an ugly path down my soft cheeks
Burning my flesh, banishing all trace of hope
Killing my ever-stupid heart mercilessly in its wake.

I do love
With every word, with every breath
With every smile, with every glance
A heartfelt yearning that drives me onward
Wanting without hope, dying without cause
Praying without faith, crying without tears
But knowing though trying hard not to believe
Yet believing it still for it is the truth all along
I am merely your choice, a choice that loves so blindly
Wanting and needing, reserving a most special place
In this heart I offer to you, giving you what space is left
Which should have been mine; thus through my own hands
Death comes inevitably—with me as the sole sacrifice
Gone to waste, gone to oblivion, gone to an infernal fate
Alone, with no one but myself, and this pathetic heart…long dead before me